Top of the Heap

Is anyone out there who's not at the community wishing that they were the eldest kid of all others? To be the oldest and therefore, most superior of them all? Well, think again. Just because you're top dog (as in oldest) doesn't mean you deserve the top privileges and get to be spoiled unlike your seemingly inferior other brothers and sisters. Take my family, for example:

In my family, privileges are something everyone gets to have equally, and no one is mistreated or spoilt, (in fact, according to my parents, being spoilt is a bad thing while being mistreated gives you a chance to feel what less fortunate people feel. Fortunately, no one in the family is mistreated or given less rights than another, thank God) so in my house it's something like every man for himself (more or less) when it comes to superiority.

I'm the oldest of three kids, so you may think me as the leader, the Big Cheese, Number One, etc, etc. No. In fact, I try to blend in. Why? Well, you may think that, as the top guy, every time I encounter a problem, I could just tell my parents to help put a stop to that problem. That does work, but most of the time my parents are too busy tending to other more important matters to tend to mine. So I stay quiet. Why, you might be wondering, don't I retaliate if someone pesters me? Well, it's time to introduce you to the new character of our family...

I have a brother named Pascal, and he is more or less the King of Quarrels and Snappy Comeback Sentences, so that characteristic makes him pretty much impossible to beat when it comes to trash-talking. I tend to ignore him when he tries to insult or mock me, because if I ever try to say something back, he'll come up with an EVEN SMARTER backtalk, and if you try to talk BACK, he'll come up with an EVEN MORE smarter comeback sentence. You get the idea, right? He is so good at quarreling and arguments that even my mom can't lecture him without being talked back. (I don't know if he's ever quarreled with my DAD, though, as my dad's FIERCE (note the CAPSLOCK) and if he starts yelling, no one dares to speak, let alone talk smack) So I tend to ignore Pascal, because I know what the ending will be if I attempt to retaliate.

Let me introduce you to another new character in the family: The 4-year-old baby, Ashley. She is a great laughingstock, but that's only if my parents (or at least, my mom) aren't around. Me and Pascal usually form an (temporary) alliance to poke fun at Ashley before being halted by my parents. (or maybe, in rare occasions, before being backstabbed by Pascal) Sometimes even my DAD teams up with us (that is, Pascal and me) and teases Ashley about hilarious (and embarrassing) moments in the past, such as when she threw up in a restaurant for the very first time, pronounciation errors (some too embarrassing to put on this post) and many other provoking memories. The main reason my parents (on rare occasions, even my dad says this) prevent further teasing to Ashley is because (this one may be mainly directed to me) no one a few years older teased us brothers when we were babies. This is quite true, but we still like to bend the rules a bit.

So that's real superiority in my home. There is no such thing as favorite child and mistreated kid. This post is mainly directed to you kids who have brothers and sisters or adults who used to have brothers and sisters in their childhoods.