Saturday, October 26, 2013

Big Time Crime

Nowadays do any of you notice how crime has really taken its toll on the world? Terrorists, pickpockets, and many other criminals that haunt today's world have been making life harder. Today we're going to try and pick a decent era in history where there weren't so much crime and murder. Without further ado, let's start investigating...

Back at the Wild West. Ah, how peaceful and- wait... Hold on, TAKE COVER! I almost forgot! Back at the Wild West, it was probably even worse than today. Even the pettiest of criminals would be wielding a six-shooter (at the least) and some crimes were carried out by gun-toting horse riding criminals! Oh jeeeeez... I think we'd better find another place in time where there weren't so much baddies...


FINALLY! I couldn't stand another second in that chaotic city full of insane cowboys and sheriffs. At least now we're... Hold on a minute... Oh NO. I seem to be in a Spanish galley and- OH MY GOD, THERE'S A FREAKING PIRATE SHIP HEADED OUR WAY! Ah yes, now I remember! In around the 1650s, pirates started raiding innocent merchant ships, hold on (dodges sword), and this has been going on until 1730 (stabs pirate) but I've got to go now, This ain't exactly the safest place to talk...

This is the perfect place to resort. No psychotic pirates trying to chop us to pieces, no insane trigger-happy bad guy trying to fill my guts with lead... Finally. Now I can get some rest. Wait, hold on, what's going on there? Better hide in a bush just in case somebody comes snooping... Oh man. It's Ned Kelly and his gang of bushrangers. In around 1880 the bushrangers got a powerful leader, Ned Kelly, who I'm seeing right now in his metal jacket and helmet. Wait a minute... NO! NO! (gunshots) THEY HEARD ME TALKING! OK, I've decided that the present isn't exactly so bad after all, considering what I've gone through...

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Human Endurance

Has any of you ever wondered just how durable the human body can be? Well sometimes the truth can dazzle you. Today's post is mainly made to show you just how powerful the human body can be.

In this post I'm going to introduce you to one of the most "powerful" people in the world: Roy Sullivan. "Who is this guy anyway, Jason?" many of you might ask. For those of you who don't know (and I bet that's pretty much the majority of you), Roy Sullivan is the record holder for "human lightning rod". He has been struck by lightning seven times (all at different times, of course. If he was struck by all seven bolts on the same day, you can imagine the pain) and is still breathing as we speak. Here's a log of his lightning strike survivals:

Strike 1: Tower Power
Sullivan's first strike dates back to April 1942, when he was sheltering in a fire lookout tower in the middle of a thunderstorm. Towers weren't so safe back then (I'm guessing that Ben Franklin wasn't born in 1942, but that's just a guess) because there were no lightning conductors on towers back then. Sure enough, the lightning struck the highest thing around: the tower Sullivan was "hiding" in. The tower caught on fire. Sullivan, realizing the tower was no longer safe, stepped out of the building and out into the open. A few seconds later, a flash of lightning made him a human lantern for a few miliseconds. Can you see the delicious irony of this all? A guy tries to take cover from a thunderstorm and got the first lightning strike of his life! The bolt left a scratch on his foot, hit his toe and left a hole in his shoe (that must've been his "holey" shoe from then on. Ha ha).
Strike 2: Lightning Con-"truck"-tor
July 1969: Sullivan was driving a truck in the middle of yet another storm. Despite his (almost) guaranteed protection in a truck, a lightning bolt bounced off several trees before finally hitting Sullivan's open window, striking him. The strike burnt off most of his facial hair and knocked him out. As for the truck, well, it kept moving until it neared a cliff edge.
Strike 3: Back At the Barnyard
1970: This one was quite boring. Sullivan was out in the yard when ANOTHER lightning bolt came to spoil the peacefulness. It struck a nearby transformer before jumping onto his left shoulder, searing it.
Strike 4: The Omen
1972: When lightning struck him the fourth time, Sullivan started thinking that some force was trying to destroy him and he started to get that fear of death. For months he started to take extra safety precautions, such as bringing a bucket of water around believing that water was a better conductor than him and the lightning would strike the water instead of him. Every time he encountered a storm while driving his truck, he'd pull up and lie down on the front seat until the storm passed.

I'll continue the rest of the post ASAP. I hope you readers aren't too disappointed, though. Peace out!

Friday, October 11, 2013


Hey guys, sorry I haven't been updating for so long, so I've decided to put an end to your misery (that's supposed to be another way of saying “killing you”, geddit?). I've decided to make more “informative” posts, and today's post is going to be about one very general (but I guarantee you, very satisfying) topic: Treasure (and NO, this is not the Bruno Mars song). Historical, full of information about the past, but the main reason people try to find it is because of the MONAAYY!!! (Yeahhh!!!!!) Okay, give me a sec. Got to cool down after that little exaggerated comment.

(Almost) everyone's dream is to find a dinosaur skeleton or a diamond mine hiding under their backyard (This is possible if you lived in some potential dinosaur-habitat country, but otherwise, you'd turn into a dinosaur yourself searching for one of these ancient animals in the city), which is pretty much impossible. Therefore this post is kind of a guide to any hopeful treasure-tracker out there trying to dig up a valuable artifact or something (before you read the guide, I would like to inform you that I am not responsible for any losses or damages caused by it).

The first thing every good treasure-tracker must know (come to think of it, this is something ALL treasure-trackers must know) is that treasure can come in different forms. Most people claim that “treasure” is another word for “valuable gems and ores” like emeralds and diamonds or platinum and gold (read this bit unless you think that it's there's nothing special about finding a new type of dinosaur skeleton under the soil of your backyard).

A treasure can also be a mechanism from the a few decades (or even centuries, if you can find one) ago (do not worry; you do NOT need to find one that still works, a disabled one will be valuable enough, but if you can find one that still works, that's even better). The reason an old rusty item from the past can be such an eye-magnet to the right person is because that people can use that old ancient thing to study the civilizations before us. Many archaeologists have made fortunes selling everlasting artifacts from hundreds, thousands, hundreds of thousands of years ago. Vases and buildings dating back from the times of ancient Greeks, manuscripts and terracotta warriors from ancient China, and many other priceless pieces of history from different eras have been sold by archaeologists to the highest bidder and they have lived as rich and wealthy (eh, come to think of it, “rich” and “wealthy” means the same thing) tomb raiders (nice job name, huh? Got that from a game). So please realize that treasure means more than just a batch of gems hiding in a cave (or more precisely, a mine).

Another thing a treasure-tracker needs to learn is that the secret to a successful treasure hunt is to find the right place for the right treasure (which is another way of saying, “Don't try to find Atlantis in Antarctica.”). If you're trying to find a ship from the renaissance or some other old naval vehicle from back then, look at the bottom of the sea (maybe I should have skipped that bit, it's too obvious). If you're looking for bones of prehistoric creatures, it's best to search in the previous places where they were last documented to live (say, if you wanted to find the skeleton of an  Australopethicus (some kind of old ancestor of ours), try to search in a place that matches its habitat (possibly a grassland or a savannah, search in the internet for further places to search for the appropriate place to find the appropriate treasure). Consult to science and history books and other informative sources for greater success on your next treasure hunt (OK, I'm sorry, I just realized I just said the same thing twice, but at least I told you about the “history and science books and other informative sources” thing on the second time I said it).

Let's stop the tips and try to listen to a famous tale of popular treasures (or at least, the site of a few popular treasures). Here's a story about a historical site of priceless objects that archaeologists (or more precisely, thieves) used to get rich:

(I'm still not sure if the Titanic was exactly a robber's nest, but people got lots of cash salvaging it, so I'll use it anyway) The Titanic was a ship known for its overestimated strength and its destruction (it is highly recommended that you read this part if you don't have the foggiest idea of what the Titanic is, and I'm pretty sure that's pretty much all of you readers, but to you people out there who don't know what in the world the Titanic is, here's its story). The Titanic was built in the 18th century, and it was the largest and most durable ship of its time (it was the 18th century, so you can bet it wasn't as strong as modern ships. Anyway, read on). It was so gobsmackingly large and awesomely powerful-looking it was dubbed “indestructible” by the Shipbuilder magazine (and NO, don't ask me about this matter because I also didn't know that magazines had topics about shipbuilding, let alone back in the 18th century, but apparently there was and still is). It was so special, that to celebrate its release into the sea, a bottle of champagne wasn't smashed on the ship's bow (they did that to most ships back in the day and I THINK they still do it now, I don't know) to celebrate its maiden voyage. No, instead they guided the vessel out to sea using smaller boats.

Ironically, the titanic Titanic (nice wordplay, huh?) sank on its first voyage. “Why?” you might ask. “Did it get incinerated by numerous bolts of lightning? Did it get shot down for trespassing restricted territory? There must be a “titanic” reason this hip sunk.” you might be wondering. Uh, no. It's “death” wasn't exactly awesome. It hit an iceberg (for those of you who might be shocked of its lame destruction, pause at this point to gasp at the irony before continuing to read). I know, right? So anyway, the Titanic DID get thoroughly scavenged by an amazing archaeologist named Paul Henry Nargeolet who sold almost all the Titanic's items for millions of US $.

That concludes my treasure-hunting guide. Hope you guys will find a use of this. See you til' the next update!