Saturday, October 26, 2013

Big Time Crime

Nowadays do any of you notice how crime has really taken its toll on the world? Terrorists, pickpockets, and many other criminals that haunt today's world have been making life harder. Today we're going to try and pick a decent era in history where there weren't so much crime and murder. Without further ado, let's start investigating...

WILD WEST
Back at the Wild West. Ah, how peaceful and- wait... Hold on, TAKE COVER! I almost forgot! Back at the Wild West, it was probably even worse than today. Even the pettiest of criminals would be wielding a six-shooter (at the least) and some crimes were carried out by gun-toting horse riding criminals! Oh jeeeeez... I think we'd better find another place in time where there weren't so much baddies...

16TH CENTURY

FINALLY! I couldn't stand another second in that chaotic city full of insane cowboys and sheriffs. At least now we're... Hold on a minute... Oh NO. I seem to be in a Spanish galley and- OH MY GOD, THERE'S A FREAKING PIRATE SHIP HEADED OUR WAY! Ah yes, now I remember! In around the 1650s, pirates started raiding innocent merchant ships, hold on (dodges sword), and this has been going on until 1730 (stabs pirate) but I've got to go now, This ain't exactly the safest place to talk...

1880s
This is the perfect place to resort. No psychotic pirates trying to chop us to pieces, no insane trigger-happy bad guy trying to fill my guts with lead... Finally. Now I can get some rest. Wait, hold on, what's going on there? Better hide in a bush just in case somebody comes snooping... Oh man. It's Ned Kelly and his gang of bushrangers. In around 1880 the bushrangers got a powerful leader, Ned Kelly, who I'm seeing right now in his metal jacket and helmet. Wait a minute... NO! NO! (gunshots) THEY HEARD ME TALKING! OK, I've decided that the present isn't exactly so bad after all, considering what I've gone through...

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