Friday, October 11, 2013


Hey guys, sorry I haven't been updating for so long, so I've decided to put an end to your misery (that's supposed to be another way of saying “killing you”, geddit?). I've decided to make more “informative” posts, and today's post is going to be about one very general (but I guarantee you, very satisfying) topic: Treasure (and NO, this is not the Bruno Mars song). Historical, full of information about the past, but the main reason people try to find it is because of the MONAAYY!!! (Yeahhh!!!!!) Okay, give me a sec. Got to cool down after that little exaggerated comment.

(Almost) everyone's dream is to find a dinosaur skeleton or a diamond mine hiding under their backyard (This is possible if you lived in some potential dinosaur-habitat country, but otherwise, you'd turn into a dinosaur yourself searching for one of these ancient animals in the city), which is pretty much impossible. Therefore this post is kind of a guide to any hopeful treasure-tracker out there trying to dig up a valuable artifact or something (before you read the guide, I would like to inform you that I am not responsible for any losses or damages caused by it).

The first thing every good treasure-tracker must know (come to think of it, this is something ALL treasure-trackers must know) is that treasure can come in different forms. Most people claim that “treasure” is another word for “valuable gems and ores” like emeralds and diamonds or platinum and gold (read this bit unless you think that it's there's nothing special about finding a new type of dinosaur skeleton under the soil of your backyard).

A treasure can also be a mechanism from the a few decades (or even centuries, if you can find one) ago (do not worry; you do NOT need to find one that still works, a disabled one will be valuable enough, but if you can find one that still works, that's even better). The reason an old rusty item from the past can be such an eye-magnet to the right person is because that people can use that old ancient thing to study the civilizations before us. Many archaeologists have made fortunes selling everlasting artifacts from hundreds, thousands, hundreds of thousands of years ago. Vases and buildings dating back from the times of ancient Greeks, manuscripts and terracotta warriors from ancient China, and many other priceless pieces of history from different eras have been sold by archaeologists to the highest bidder and they have lived as rich and wealthy (eh, come to think of it, “rich” and “wealthy” means the same thing) tomb raiders (nice job name, huh? Got that from a game). So please realize that treasure means more than just a batch of gems hiding in a cave (or more precisely, a mine).

Another thing a treasure-tracker needs to learn is that the secret to a successful treasure hunt is to find the right place for the right treasure (which is another way of saying, “Don't try to find Atlantis in Antarctica.”). If you're trying to find a ship from the renaissance or some other old naval vehicle from back then, look at the bottom of the sea (maybe I should have skipped that bit, it's too obvious). If you're looking for bones of prehistoric creatures, it's best to search in the previous places where they were last documented to live (say, if you wanted to find the skeleton of an  Australopethicus (some kind of old ancestor of ours), try to search in a place that matches its habitat (possibly a grassland or a savannah, search in the internet for further places to search for the appropriate place to find the appropriate treasure). Consult to science and history books and other informative sources for greater success on your next treasure hunt (OK, I'm sorry, I just realized I just said the same thing twice, but at least I told you about the “history and science books and other informative sources” thing on the second time I said it).

Let's stop the tips and try to listen to a famous tale of popular treasures (or at least, the site of a few popular treasures). Here's a story about a historical site of priceless objects that archaeologists (or more precisely, thieves) used to get rich:

(I'm still not sure if the Titanic was exactly a robber's nest, but people got lots of cash salvaging it, so I'll use it anyway) The Titanic was a ship known for its overestimated strength and its destruction (it is highly recommended that you read this part if you don't have the foggiest idea of what the Titanic is, and I'm pretty sure that's pretty much all of you readers, but to you people out there who don't know what in the world the Titanic is, here's its story). The Titanic was built in the 18th century, and it was the largest and most durable ship of its time (it was the 18th century, so you can bet it wasn't as strong as modern ships. Anyway, read on). It was so gobsmackingly large and awesomely powerful-looking it was dubbed “indestructible” by the Shipbuilder magazine (and NO, don't ask me about this matter because I also didn't know that magazines had topics about shipbuilding, let alone back in the 18th century, but apparently there was and still is). It was so special, that to celebrate its release into the sea, a bottle of champagne wasn't smashed on the ship's bow (they did that to most ships back in the day and I THINK they still do it now, I don't know) to celebrate its maiden voyage. No, instead they guided the vessel out to sea using smaller boats.

Ironically, the titanic Titanic (nice wordplay, huh?) sank on its first voyage. “Why?” you might ask. “Did it get incinerated by numerous bolts of lightning? Did it get shot down for trespassing restricted territory? There must be a “titanic” reason this hip sunk.” you might be wondering. Uh, no. It's “death” wasn't exactly awesome. It hit an iceberg (for those of you who might be shocked of its lame destruction, pause at this point to gasp at the irony before continuing to read). I know, right? So anyway, the Titanic DID get thoroughly scavenged by an amazing archaeologist named Paul Henry Nargeolet who sold almost all the Titanic's items for millions of US $.

That concludes my treasure-hunting guide. Hope you guys will find a use of this. See you til' the next update!

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