Sunday, September 26, 2021

Who Is Genshin and How Did It Impact You: The Power of Water

"The power of water is its ability to take any shape." If you thought I was gonna talk about the Hydro element in general, I regret to tell you that you are sorely mistaken. Today's topic of contention are Hydro enemies. These guys assault your sanity with infuriating, unnecessarily annoying attacks. Whether it be a goddamn bubble that immobilizes your active character for way longer than it has any right to, or a moveset that's dead-set on pinning you down with rapid melee attacks, let us divert our attention to our hazing target of the day: the Oceanid.

Oceanid Weakness and Strategy Guide | Genshin Impact|Game8

Stunning image of a local adventurer team moments before being struck by completely balanced attack courtesy of eldritch elemental creature in Qingce Village, colorized

Hydro element is great. When it's on your side, mostly. Frankly, it's such a shame how wildly underrepresented the Water gang is in this game, because while Pyro's only two players short of a whole-ass football team, MiHoYo developed a mysterious allergy to Hydro characters wielding anything that isn't a bloody book sometime after the release of Tartaglia. Seriously, out of the five playable water-flingers in the game, we're counting THREE mother-flipping Hydro Catalyst users since the KoKopium banner, because apparently the concept of water being associated to anything other than healers and support roles is blasphemous now. Don't get me wrong, Nilou's moveset is creative and all, but why a second sword-user? And just to drive the point home, WHY three Catalyst users? I get the impression that the conceptualization of Childe and his wacky moveset may have burnt out the creative team's brainstorming department, which would certainly explain why Hydro playable PCs have been slowly boiling down to "hold book and throw splashy-splashy at bad guy" lately. Heck, you ever noticed how Hydro is the ONLY element without a Claymore user? And on top of that, Candace was only announced just recently, and if it weren't for her, Hydro would be missing a polearm user too. No shade to the Nilou fans out there, but I was really hoping Hydro would finally be able to cover the entire weapon spectrum, but apparently Hoyo ain't about that life. Anyway, I digress.

If they ever introduce multi-element playable characters, I could totally imagine Beidou as a Hydro character, what with her role as a badass sea captain and errything. Come on game, is "water people=magic mage people" really the peak of your weapon design?

You know what's NOT fun? BUILDING Hydro characters. If you own any character in the above list, then you'll have to farm a specific Hydro-related boss to gain level-up materials in order to, well, level up your character (dropping mad knowledge bombs all up in here, I know). If you're a proud Kokomi owner, you've most likely gone toe-to-toe with the Hydro Hypostasis . Much like Kokomi, the Hydro Cube is elegant, graceful. Most of its attacks involve chucking H2O at your team until everyone in the squad gets splashed to death, and it's in a perpetual state of wetness. Much like our beloved Koko-girl.

Between burning, frostbite, and homing lightning strikes (among hundreds of other unpleasant demises), I'll take death by dolphin elemental any day of the week.

But we're not here to talk about Mista (or Missus, I don't judge) Water Rubix Qube. Hell, the entire blog post up until this point has been but a mere distraction for the OG Water Menace. If you own any Hydro character that ain't Kokomi, you'll quickly notice that they's got one thing in common: every single goddamn one of them require a certain trinket (or forty-six) from a local Liyue living legend. Yes, even the magic Mondstadt liquid-lobbers. Whether it be a psychotic warlord who we're buddy-buddy with even after he tried to total an entire dockside city or a religion-loving, second fiddle-playing popstar living it up in the City of Freedom, playable water-benders pull an Uno reverse card on the concept of religious worship and demand you to hunt down a (possibly) innocent water deity, "pacify" it, and (presumably) Mortal Kombat-rip their still-beating heart(s) out of their chests so they can... consume it, I guess?

Fatality.

Oh, and did I mention you'll be euthanizing the local H2O elemental no less than sixteen (twenty-three if you've pissed off Lady Luck) times before you can fully ascend a SINGLE Hydro character? Yeah, be ready for rowdy Rhodeia to lambaste you for foolishly trespassing upon the waters of Qingce, yadda yadda yadda. Apparently The Oceanid used to be voiceless once upon an update, and considering how many times I've heard Rhodes lecture me about the evils of trespassing upon the waters of Qingce, I know quite a few people who wish she'd just can it and take her punishment quietly like, gee, I dunno, every single other blasted world boss in the game?

Why's the Oceanid the only one with a voice? I, for one, would love to hear a dry, smack-talking Maguu Kenki deliver stilted, robotic witticisms while he kicks my ass with the help of his stand, as unlikely as it is to happen in the near future. Oh well, a man can dream.

And if you thought your problems stopped there, I'd like to point out that the Oceanid most CERTAINLY can walk the walk to back up her talk. Rhodeia ain't too happy that your Hydro characters' health and combat wellness has a direct correlation with a vital organ responsible for maintaining her OWN health and combat wellness, and this creature will fight tooth and nail (correction: her MINIONS will fight tooth and nail. Kill them, and she just kinda dissolves into nothing due to crippling loneliness, presumably) to make sure she can... keep watch over a bunch of lakes in her immediate vicinity, I suppose? God, I really need to brush up on Oceanid lore.

So we've established Hydro's tendency to be one of the weaker elements defense-wise; it can be frozen with a eensy-weensy sprinkle of Cryo, and easily eroded with a steady supply of Electro (which is funny because "eroded" is a word you'd used to describe water chipping away at rocks, which is a Geo reaction. Get it? Erosion? Geo? God, I'm hilarious...). Hell, even Pyro can join in on the fun with a constant x1.5 damage multiplier. Now do the math: the Oceanid is a creature made of pure elemental energy, so what element is she comprised of? That's right, baby. Constant Hydro-related reactions for dayz. Unleash your excitement and relief while you still can, because that's all the good news I have for you regarding this boss; as befitting of a Hydro enemy, almost all of its attacks are HELL to avoid. The boars relentlessly charge and stunlock you, the frogs and finch leave a parting gift in the form of a water bomb as their one last middle finger to your existence, and do NOT get me started on the falcons. Flying enemies that, while fragile as all hell, are also annoying as hell due to their inability to be hit by most melee attacks. You know, that's enough ragging on Rhodeia for one day. I'm sure more infuriating enemies are just beyond the horizon, and I wanna save some vitriol for them too. But for now, thanks for listening, and see ya.

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